Sunday, May 10, 2009

Homesick

I have never missed St. John's more then I did tonight. I was so down and my friends were telling me all the things that were true but what I didn't want to hear... I miss the city. I miss the people. I miss the security. I never felt more homesick in my life... I miss internet that fucking works!..god damn it...the arctic is so fucking cold and It makes no sense to me why I have to run full force away from the things I want in order to get them. I like my job and I'm too stubborn to leave and I'm determined to make this a good time. I hope it gets better then this...not to sure it will though. You make your own fun here.. I'm not too much of a fan of drinking here. It's too depressing and I can see how it takes over the lives of the people in this town. there is too much time to think . I THINK that's the problem. Too much time inside your own head, evaluating your life over and over. I need to occupy myself with positive things. POSITIVE. nobody is positive. It's like it's sucked out of them. they just pass time, or, they are in decision mode..where am I going ....they all waste time here for a better brighter future...It's a fucked up purgatory. the arctic is no ones home, even the people who call it home seem to be lost. I miss a city that is welcoming. I miss a city that is safe and I have NEVER missed St. John's more then I did tonight.

I'm sorry, I'm just a little sad tonight...I'll be better tomorrow..

5 comments:

  1. Hang in there Amanda .. the first three weeks is usually the worst.

    You should check out some of the various recreational activities that go on in the community during the evenings and weekends - I'm sure Townie could give you a good run down of what's available in Iqaluit.

    Once things calm down at home (ie: getting rid of the cat piss carpet) and you finally get to claim your little corner as your own, I'm sure things will start to look much brighter.

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  2. Thanks:)
    I agree. I just need to get into a good routine I think. I need stimulation to be happy so any suggestions on some cool stuff to do here would be great<3

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  4. If its any consolation I've been up here for 6 years now and still have plenty of crazy days. As long as you can laugh things off and find ways to vent you'll do just find. Easier said than done I know....but take it from someone who knows. :)

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  5. Well, off the top of my head I would suggest dropping Kate Nova (porttownghosts.blogspot.com) a line. She's involved with the music scene in town and you mentioned bringing your guitar up. She's also involved with the Greenhouse Society, something you might be interested in joining.

    Also, coming up next month is the Alianait Festival (http://www.alianait.ca/) and they are always looking for volunteers. Lots of cool things happen during that event and it's worth taking a look at.

    There's the Mass Registration, but that's not until September, and I suspect you need something to do before then. That's when every organization in town comes out trying to rope you into joining their group.

    And the others are right. The culture shock is worse during the first few weeks. You'll settle in soon enough. However, you should need to talk or vent, by all means drop me a line and we'll have you over for coffee or something. We are, literally, right across the street from you.

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